I’m a new mama.
That one sentence changed 100% of my life, in one way or another. (By the way, how long do we get to claim we are “new” at this?)
My husband and I have a beautiful 9-month-old daughter, full to the brim with ornery grins and spunky giggles that melt my heart in a millisecond. Though I’ve cared for her and prayed for her for over 9 months, she’s just starting to learn how to be a little person* in this world–learning from me and her daddy. She’s learning how to be a person…from me? I’m not even the person I want to be yet. I can’t teach her to be a little me that I don’t even like!
But, I don’t get a choice in the matter. She’s growing and learning, ready or not. And she will learn from me and her daddy. Every little word we say, she’ll memorize. Every one: the incredibly inspiring as well as the exceedingly ugly. So what can I do?
I can grow into the woman I was created to be. A woman I would be proud to see my daughter mimic.
I want this blog to turn into a guide; a memoir; a reflection of my journey as motherhood shapes me, smooths my rough edges, and buffs me until I reflect the love my daughter (and heavenly Father) lavish on me.
I could keep a private journal, and one day I might start a quiet time journal. I wish I had started one when I first discovered I was pregnant. (Boy, what a lot has changed since then!) But I have read in the past year or so countless blogs from articulate, engaging women who use their voices to encourage mothers: new, used, and vintage mother. They live their imperfect lives full of tantrums and kisses and broken baby hearts and forgiveness and share those moments with us; they regale us with tales that leave us in tears–fairy tales of their princesses with flowing hair–and hair chopped short with baby fingers clasped around a pair a scissors–and suspense stories of adventurous little boys (who thankfully God blessed with noggins of steel); they stumble and reach out for our hands to lift them to their feet, all the while offering us their own hands in prayer.
I want to give back to those ladies. I want to connect. I want to be an encourager; a co-griever; a tale-weaver; a sometimes pitiful mama who screws up but continues to seek after God and accept his forgiveness and grace, in order to teach my darling daughter by example.
I don’t promise this will be strictly a “Mama Blog” or a “Devotional Blog” or necessarily to have a single theme at all. I just promise to be honest as I share my struggling growth as a mother, a wife, and a daughter of God.
Megan K. Allison
*PS: Shout-out to my lovely mother-of-three friend Sarah for the use of “growing into a little person.” If she had a blog I would link to it.